Free sibling scripts
What to Say When Your Kids Fight
The exact words to stop the fighting without yelling. You’ll say one thing and it will work.
You’re tired of being the referee
“Who started it? Give it back! You’re being so selfish!” It ends the fight for a minute. Then it happens again. You snap and yell. Then you feel guilty. You worry they’ll never get along. You want one thing to say that actually stops the fight.
What you’ll get
Script for the toy fight
“Both of you, let go. Now.” “I see you both want this. But you can’t have it at the same time.” “I’m putting it away for 10 minutes.”
Script for the hit
“No hitting. Hands to yourself.” “Are you okay?” (to the one who was hit) “You both need a break. I’ll check on you in 5 minutes.”
Script for the “he started it” fight
“I’m not interested in who started it. I’m interested in who stops.” “You both need to calm down. Separate now.” “We’ll talk when you’re calm.”
Script for the public meltdown
“We’re leaving. Now.” “I can’t let you hit. We’re going home.” “We’ll try again tomorrow.”
How it works
- Get between them. Move close. Lower your voice. Take one breath.
- Say one thing. Use the script. Don’t explain. Don’t blame. Don’t lecture.
- Separate them. If they can’t stop, separate them. No long conversation in the middle of the fight.
What happens next
You stop the fighting without yelling. You feel calm when it happens. They hear you say the same thing every time. They start to believe you. They start to follow through. You’re not the referee anymore.
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